2007 Predictions for ECUSA

10. In December 2006 the US Episcopal Church claims a national membership of 2.3 million for the sixth year in a row.

9. The Rt Rev Peter Lee goes from being the most powerful bishop in TEC, to the second most powerful bishop in Virginia.

8. Mrs Katherine Schori begins reading a new book. It’s called The Bible or something like that.

7. After reading 1 Timothy 3:2 in this new book, Mrs Schori immediately proposes to The Rt Rev V Gene Robinson (you figure it out).

6. When asked how losing almost 20% of the Sunday attendance of the Diocese of Virginia in one week could be considered a small percentage, Mrs Schori begins a 3 hour filibuster on the migratory habits of squids (confusing yes, but it did cause everyone to forget the original question).

5. After it is explained to Mrs Schori that there are actually twelve days during the Christmas Season, she pens one more homily on the importance of the birth of Santa.

4. After this homily, Mrs Schori immediately begins preparing for the 40 days that we will be allowed to buy Cadbury Eggs in preparation for the birth of a six foot Bunny.

3. In December 2007 the membership of Christ Church, Plano reaches four-times the size of the Episcopal Diocese of Nevada.

2. In what she thought to be a victory at Dar es Salaam; Mrs Schori is told she is being promoted to Presiding Layperson. Since this Holy Orders thing is new to her, she accepts the “promotion” and goes back to a vacant 815.

And now for number one:
1. In December 2007 the US Episcopal Church claims a national membership of 2.3 million for the seventh year in a row.